A Letter to B:
You texted me two weeks ago and told me that I needed to write. You said, “Girl. It’s been 1.5 months since your last blog post. … Write. Thanks”. I told you that I hadn’t had any ideas! That my plate has been full! That I haven’t had the time to sit down and put words into sentences that mean sweet things!
But then I started thinking about you. And suddenly sweet sentences were easy.
You’re the person who always tells me to write. The person who always encourages me. The person who still takes the time out of the being the world’s busiest med student to read my blog and text me about it.
When I reflect honestly, I don’t feel that I have encouraged you the same way you have encouraged me. In my eyes you are always so capable and brilliant and throughout all these years of knowing you I knew that I needed you to cheer me on, but I may not have always stopped to see if you needed someone to stand on the sidelines cheering, too. You helped me study for exams and bought me pizza when I passed (because pizza has and will always be the perfect food for celebration and grief and sadness and boredom and literally every emotion). You made big deals out of things that could have fallen by the wayside. If our friendship has ever felt wonky and lop sided and uneven, I’m sorry.
Moving forward, I want to make sure that you are ALWAYS encouraged by me.
I hope you know that I carry you around with me always and when you text me and ask that I pray for an exam, I do. I always do. When you honor me by sharing your fears with me (and your tears), I don’t shove them away – I hold them carefully in my hands. I often forget to follow up with you and ask how your heart is doing, largely because I’m consumed with myself, but it’s never because it doesn’t matter to me. I think God has created such a wonder in you. He has gifted you so, so much. You work very hard and I never want to dismiss or make light of that, but please know that it was God who gave you a brain that understands genetics and medicine and muscles. And he’s going to use all that (that which is so foreign to me) for incredible good. You’ll see. Stay strong, darling. “.. knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
I cherish you for who God created you to be. I cherish you for the way you have sweetly loved me. I cherish you for allowing me to be in your inner circle. And maybe I shouldn’t, but I cherish your biting sarcasm and bitterness. Because I think you’re hilarious. And a babe. But I’m getting off topic.
B, I absolutely love you and more than that, I believe in you. Keep going, my darling friend.