I had no idea how long we would be together the day we first met. I didn’t know I would move to a new state to take care of you, that I would be at your 1st birthday party and then your 2nd. I didn’t have a clue that babysitting you once would turn into a nearly two year long friendship. You were supposed to be a temporary arrangement while I worked on other artistic endeavors. Be a nanny for a second while everything else got worked out. And ultimately that is why we’re parting ways now, as much as I adore you I need to explore other things, but my plan was never to spend two years going to parks and swim lessons and play dates and bookstores.
Even though that wasn’t my plan, I have loved it.
I have loved watching you grow; grow taller, grow more curious, grow smarter, grow funnier. When we first met you were just learning to sit up by yourself, now we chase each other through water parks. You have grown so incredibly handsome and so incredibly cuddly. You are busy, inquisitive, serious, and an incredible dancer. You are cautious, but you are also the perfect amount of brave. I love watching you carefully approach slides and ladders and puddles – unsure at first, skeptical at first, but then courageously taking that first step.
You’re ornery, too. You may be cute and you may be sweet, but you are ornery. You have challenged me so many times, and even defeated me a few of those times. You are learning how to be, how to act, how to accept the answer “no”. You are testing the waters. “Do I really have to walk by myself? Maybe I can get her to carry me. Let’s see.”
These lessons have been hard, but for every tough day of constantly repeating “don’t throw your cars” , “say please instead of shouting at me”, “stop drinking the bath water”, there have been even more tender moments. Dancing in the living room, rubbing noses during nap time, tickle fights, wet kisses. These moments are more than I can stand. You are so sweet, so precious. The way your body weighed down on mine when you finally submitted to sleep after (what felt like) hours of rocking. The way you laughed when I tickled your legs. My heart melts at the thought!
You and me, we’ll still see each other. I will still make sure to meet up with you on play dates, trips to the park, birthday parties. Because you, my silly goose, are embedded in my heart.
I hope you grow up so full with love that you pour it into everyone you meet. I pray you defend the weak, stand up for right, and know that success isn’t something monetary. I pray that you know that you were not just created by a God who is distant and cold, but instead are actively loved by a God who died for you. I pray that you know true hope and love and grace, because you know it in your heavenly Father.
It’s been a joy dancing with you ♡ I love you, sweets.